By “You dey smile outside, but your brain dey argue with itself inside.”
That’s how Abíkẹ́ felt, and if you’re being honest, maybe you’ve felt it too.
When Cornflakes Turns to Confusion
It all started on a quiet but rainy Thursday morning in Ogudu.
Abíkẹ́, 34, single (and tired of being asked “when are we coming?”), was preparing for work when she did something strange: she poured hot water into Cornflakes. Not oats o , but Kellogg’s Cornflakes.
She stared at the soggy mess, blinking like someone rebooting.
Ah… I’m not okay.”
This was no longer about cereal. This was the final red flag from a tired brain. Her body was on auto-pilot, but her mind? Buffering.
Abíkẹ́ worked in HR at a Nigerian tech start-up where people said “synergy” more than they said “sorry.” She handled everything: payroll, team conflict, onboarding, and sometimes even unofficial therapy for stressed interns.
She was everyone’s rock, but lately… she was crumbling in silence.
Silent Stress and Loud Thoughts
From the outside, Abíkẹ́ had it all together.
She was that woman in the office who always had snacks, who wore Ankara like royalty, who gave career advice during lunch. But what they didn’t know was that her mind was noisy. All the time.
She overthought everything:
- “Did I sound rude in that email?”
- “What if I used the wrong tone on that call?”
- “Should I have said ‘regards’ or ‘warm regards’?”
- “If I sleep now, will I miss destiny?”
She’d lie awake at night, replaying conversations like Netflix episodes, except in her version, the main character was always doing too much… or not enough.
Abíkẹ́ was battling high-functioning anxiety, showing up for work, for friends, even for Sunday service… but inside, she was exhausted.
The FRIDAY Meeting Breakdown
Her turning point came during a normal Friday meeting.
Her boss asked, casually:
“Abike, have you uploaded the performance reviews?”
And without warning, she burst into tears, Not silent tears o. Full-on, chest-heaving, tissue-grabbing sobs.
Her team froze.
She managed to whisper through the snot:
“I think… my soul is buffering.”
Everyone looked around awkwardly, pretending to be busy. Someone offered tea. Another suggested “maybe it’s hormones.”
But deep down, Abíkẹ́ knew:
“This is not just stress, My mind is waving a white flag.”
What Nobody Told Abike About Mental Health
Abíkẹ́ grew up in a generation that believed in three cures:
- Prayer
- Panadol
- Pretending you’re fine
Mental health? That was “oyinbo talk.” Therapy? Only for people who talk to themselves in traffic.
But that moment in the Zoom meeting forced her to admit what she’d been denying for years:
“I’m tired in my body, tired in my mind, and tired of pretending I’m not tired.”
The Day She Entered Therapy (With Side Eye)
Her cousin Tolu, a nurse, booked her an appointment with a therapist in Yaba.
Abíkẹ́ rolled her eyes.
“What do I need therapy for? I just need one retreat and one bowl of hot pepper soup.”
But she went anyway.
The therapist wasn’t intimidating — she was a soft-spoken Yoruba woman in glasses who called herself a “mind mechanic.”
“When was the last time you rested your mind, not just your body?” she asked.
Abíkẹ́ didn’t have an answer.
She had been on autopilot for so long, she forgot that it was okay to press pause. That she didn’t have to always be “the strong one.” That being tired isn’t weakness, it’s human!
The Healing That Didn’t Happen Overnight
Therapy wasn’t instant healing. There were no fireworks, no magic words.
But something powerful happened: Abíkẹ́ started hearing herself.
She began:
- Journaling honestly: Not “Today I’m grateful…” but “Today, I almost slapped my co-worker for chewing food too loud.”
- Naming her emotions: Not just “I’m tired,” but “I’m overwhelmed and need to rest.”
- Setting boundaries: Saying “No” without guilt or long excuses.
- Taking breaks: Not waiting for breakdowns before breathing.
- Asking for help: And letting people carry her, just as she’d always carried them.
She didn’t become perfect, just lighter.
Her mind didn’t stop overthinking overnight. But now, when the noise starts, she pauses and whispers to herself:
“Abíkẹ́ Adéyẹmí, no go die on top work o. You hear?”
Final Thoughts: What Abíkẹ́’s Story Teaches Us All
There are many Abíkẹ́s walking around today, smiling outside, but carrying storms inside.
You show up, You work, You cook, You post funny tweets.
But when it gets quiet….your thoughts get louder.
If that’s you, this is your reminder:
🧠 Mental health is not luxury, It’s survival.
🛑 You can pause.
🙏🏽 You can ask for help.
🧘🏽 You can rest.
❤️ You deserve soft. Not just on weekends. Every day.
Take This With You;
A healthy mind is not a perfect mind.
It’s a present mind, A kind mind, A rested mind.
Even Abíkẹ́, warrior of worry, found peace.
You can too.