By Last Monday, Ada thought someone slapped her with pepper in her sleep.
She woke up with one eye sealed like suya wrap, and the other looking like she just finished a breakup.
She rushed to the mirror.
Red eyes, Sticky tears, Sandpaper-level itching.
āWho sent this village people?ā she asked.
Her neighbor looked at her, hissed & said;
āNo vex, but abeg no face my side. This thing dey fly like gossip.ā
Ada had caught it, eh Apollo.
Medically, known as conjunctivitis, but Lagosians know it as the eye demon that moves faster than Danfo in one-way.
Symptoms of Apollo (a.k.a. āEyes don castā)
- Red, itchy or burning eyes
- Sticky, crusty eyelids in the morning
- Watery discharge (like tears, but uninvited)
- Sensitivity to light (sun will start feeling like betrayal).
Did Ada feel all this symptoms? Yes! How Did Ada Catch It?
The Lagos Way, she reflected and remembered;
- She Shared towel at her salon.
- Rubbing her eyes after holding Naira notes in traffic.
- Sitting too close to someone with red eyes in a BRT without knowing.
Omo, donāt be like Ada o, let me tell you how to Dodge Apollo in This Lagos Life:
- No dey share towel, pillow, handkerchief even with bestie.
- Wash your hands like you just counted conductor change.
- Donāt touch your eyes without washing hands first.
- Avoid close contact with anyone whose eye looks suspiciously pink.
You don catch Apollo like Ada, Mafo, I Dey for you; here is how Ada managed hers:
She went to a pharmacy, got prescribed eye drops, no go use Agbo or early morning urine oooo!
- Ada stopped wearing makeup and contacts until her eyes cleared.
- Ada used warm clean water and tissue to gently clean the eye crust, one wipe per tissue, no recycling like Ijebu people oooš¤£
- Ada worked from home for 3 days to avoid spreading it to the entire office like love letter.
After 5 days, Adaās eyes were clear. She even took a fresh selfie and captioned it:
“Apollo tried me. But soft life won.”
Dear Lagosians, Apollo is real. Itās not jazz. Itās not from village people. Itās just Lagos, sweat, germs, and eye contact in tight spaces.
Stay clean. Stay safe. Abeg no use spit and salt water. This is 2025!
Your concerned Lagos Hustler!