I thought you said you loved me…
Why did you leave me behind?
You left three years ago
In that room where he destroyed us
Chinked away at who we were
Or maybe it’s who I am
You left me.
I’m here alone
Merely an echo
And I need you to hear ME!
I’ve called you but you refuse to pick up
Or maybe you don’t see my missed calls
I thought maybe you don’t mean to stall
Because you are scared of what people might say
Or do
If you showed the real you
You have suppressed me
Even when you know it makes your heart heavy still
And the walls thicker
You know you want to reply when that idiot of a co-worker
Says stupid things
But you keep quiet and smile
Grappling with what little fragment
Of reality that you salvaged
On that day.
Just like you did with Jide and Kore and G…
I cannot say his name because you have deliberately forgotten
They have destroyed you
And you built back with the debris
But you forgot to include me
Call me harsh but you are a ticking time bomb
You have numbed yourself to me
So now you are floating
Gliding through life not knowing
Who we truly are
You love God
It is very evident
But how can you love Him the way
You are supposed to
When you don’t know what to give
You are to give me, ME!
You cannot give of what you do not know
I am the depth and the essence of you
And you left me behind
You talk about me all the time
To those you think matter
But when they ask my favourite food
You don’t know
My favourite colour is easy because I scream it over and over again
in your fragmented memories
so you don’t forget
You don’t know if we love that guy
You know you think his glasses are cute
And whenever you see him
It’s like eating chocolate
Maltesers
You know that as annoying as he is
And despite being a tease
He is kind and gentle and loving
You asked God about him
But you are not sure of the reply
I’ve texted you
But you never text back.
I thought you loved me
At least that’s what you told him
But do you really?
How can you love someone you have forgotten?
Someone you don’t even know any more
Are you in love with what you see in the mirror
Or what you have imagined in your mind
Do you love me?
Scratch that! Do you know me?
Do you see me?
Do you hear me?
Or do you hear them?
Argh!
- Love, Me
Author: Adebola Adesida