By I heard that when depression comes, it does so rapidly
making you hear voices in your head.
I heard that when depression hits, you lose control of life and sulk in darkness.
Is that true?
I heard that when it occurs,
It deprives you of happiness
And makes you wallow in sadness-day and night.
I’m right here but my body is so numbed up I wish I could sleep all day,
Is this depression or me just being lazy?
I am right here crying, filling my diaries with words
I dare not say out loud Is this depression or my creative side?
I hear no voices in my head telling me things, just my own thoughts roaming
Is this depression or I’m thinking?
I spend the day smiling,
But my pillow back home?
Drenched in the tears for a feeling I do not know.
Is that depression or a devoid life?
I’m right here, still here
But why do my thoughts keep pushing me to end it all?
I’m right here, still here
But why do I want to take the last breathe and stop?
I’m right here, still here
but why does the beauty of death fascinate me?
I’m right here, still here
Why can’t I stop all thoughts of it?
I’m right here, still here
wondering what will happen if I end it all.
When I’m not here, or there,
Where will those feelings go?
Author: Hamzat Karimot