Shrapnel

I thought you said you loved me…

Why did you leave me behind?

You left three years ago

In that room where he destroyed us

Chinked away at who we were

Or maybe it’s who I am

You left me.

 

I’m here alone

Merely an echo

And I need you to hear ME!

I’ve called you but you refuse to pick up

Or maybe you don’t see my missed calls

 

I thought maybe you don’t mean to stall

Because you are scared of what people might say

Or do

If you showed the real you

You have suppressed me

Even when you know it makes your heart heavy still

And the walls thicker

You know you want to reply when that idiot of a co-worker

Says stupid things

But you keep quiet and smile

Grappling with what little fragment

Of reality that you salvaged

On that day.

Just like you did with Jide and Kore and G…

I cannot say his name because you have deliberately forgotten

 

They have destroyed you

And you built back with the debris

But you forgot to include me

 

Call me harsh but you are a ticking time bomb

You have numbed yourself to me

So now you are floating

Gliding through life not knowing

Who we truly are

 

You love God

It is very evident

But how can you love Him the way

You are supposed to

When you don’t know what to give

You are to give me, ME!

 

You cannot give of what you do not know

I am the depth and the essence of you

And you left me behind

You talk about me all the time

To those you think matter

But when they ask my favourite food

You don’t know

My favourite colour is easy because I scream it over and over again

in your fragmented memories

so you don’t forget

 

You don’t know if we love that guy

You know you think his glasses are cute

And whenever you see him

It’s like eating chocolate

Maltesers

You know that as annoying as he is

And despite being a tease

He is kind and gentle and loving

 

You asked God about him

But you are not sure of the reply

I’ve texted you

But you never text back.

 

I thought you loved me

At least that’s what you told him

But do you really?

How can you love someone you have forgotten?

Someone you don’t even know any more

Are you in love with what you see in the mirror

Or what you have imagined in your mind

 

Do you love me?

Scratch that! Do you know me?

Do you see me?

Do you hear me?

Or do you hear them?

Argh!

  • Love, Me

 

Author: Adebola Adesida

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