That whilst they see colors and flowers blooming
All we see are dead flowers
How do we explain what we cannot understand?
How do we explain this dark, sunken feeling of hopelessness
How do we explain how we no longer feel flutters in our bellies and the fullness in our spirit
How do we explain something we cannot understand?
How do I tell my mother that her baby no longer wants to exist and death craves my name?
How do I explain something I do not understand?
They say we may be crazy and that joy comes in the morning
But, but how do I explain I no longer have the patience to wait for joy
And that joy doesn’t seek me
Nor my soul seek joy
We try to believe that life holds more
And that our little wins will somehow provide comfort and peace with
But it’s never enough
Maybe the answer awaits me
Maybe popping the pills is not a good idea
Maybe losing blood from my veins will only make me lose this fight
Just like they say
There is a light at the end of the tunnel
Maybe I am that light and just need to get out of the tunnel
Life awaits me.
Tomi Ibadin