Change-maker, Margie Warrell, writes about asking for help, pulling others up and not putting them down.
I think most of us should ask for more help more often. As with so many things that would serve us (and others), our fear is what gets in the way. Fear of over-stepping a friendship. Fear of appearing too needy. Fear of imposing. Fear of revealing our struggle and having people realize we don’t have it all together after all. But here’s the thing:
When you don’t ask for help when you need it, you assume all of a burden that might easily (and gladly) be shared. But you also deprive those who’d love to assist you of the opportunity to do so.
Everyone is worse off.
As I wrote in my (very) soon to be released book Brave, “The truth is that we all have gifts to share – time, talent, connections, insights, experience, skills, resources, hospitality. And most people love to share them!” I know that I was genuinely delighted to do a favor for this woman and was actually flattered that she felt comfortable enough to reach out to me and ask for it.
We can all do so much more together than we ever can alone. Too often though we ‘tough it out’ rather than reaching out to ask for help when we need it most. Fear gets the better of us while depriving others of a chance to show they care and share their gifts.
In my recent interview with Janine Garner author of From Me To We, we talked about how important it is to risk the possibility of seeming needy, or even of being rejected, and to reach out to ask for help when we need it. Not only can it help us when times are tough and we’re struggling, but it also gives others the opportunity to make a difference while helping them feel more comfortable to ask for help themselves. Not only that, but as Janine said, “When we support other people to be more successful, we discover opportunities for collaboration that ultimately enable us to be more successful ourselves.”
Everyone is better off.
Our lives are richer – not poorer – when we share our gifts with others.So whether you need someone to lend you a hand, or you just need to borrow an ear, consider this: by having the courage to ask for help you’re not putting them out, you’re pulling them up.